I just read some other blog and to be honest I’m not 100% sure what the guy was getting at and he may or may not have been saying what I’m about to be totally disagreeing with. Mostly it just reminded me of an argument I got into in class one time where a guy straight up said that men were meant to bring home the bacon and it’s the woman’s job to take care of the kids. The worst part was when all the women agreed with him, and of course it comes as no surprise that the guys did as well. There are just so many things wrong with that statement, though.
First off, if you’re in a relationship where the man works and the woman stays at home to take care of the kids or just to be a non stop cleaning service, and you’re all happy with that and it works then that’s fine. I’m not saying that such things are terrible. Currently I’m in the same situation. I got out of the military and decided to get a degree so it’ll be a long time before I probably do find work again. My husband goes off to work and to be honest I spend most of my days with a laptop in front of me and the TV constantly on. So there you go.
But my problem with such blanket statements is it paints us little boxes that we have to stay within, and if you don’t then you’re not a real man or you’re a woman who doesn’t know her place. Having worked in the mans world I got to hear every kind of joke about such. For example:
What do you tell a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing you already told her twice. OR Why are women’s feet so small? So they can stand closer to the stove.
And that’s the little boxes we want to stay in? Now maybe I have such strong views on the subject because of the family I was raised in. When my parents first got married they were the generic perfect family. My dad went to a good job and my mom stayed home to take care of the 3 munchkins running around. Everybody just as they should be. But then my dad got sick, and his health went downhill after having kidney failure. This man I’m talking about loved his job. He worked in retail store and actually still has dreams about doing inventory, they’re his happy dreams. The man that never took a vacation and was happiest at work, was suddenly disabled and had to stay home. Did he gripe and complain or think his manhood was being questioned? No. Did my mom, who probably thought she would never have to work, say forget this and leave him? No. Instead she took up doing the one thing she’d basically been trained her whole life to do. Making drapes… actually it was more like being an interior designer, she can sew anything and everything. And she worked herself to the bone to earn the money we all needed to get by.
So where did that leave my dad? Well, he took care of us kids and he learned how to cook, and believe me he’s amazing at it now. He was the one doing what so many would call the woman’s role. And it never once made anyone question his manliness, all it did for me was make me proud of how much my parents were willing to do whatever it took to take care of us and each other. They didn’t care about roles, they cared about family. It wasn’t “this is my duty” it’s “what can I do to help”. That is what the world needs more of. Not little boxes to sort people into, but wide open spaces for people to fill the void and make good homes for their loved ones. I love my parents more than anything, and they always inspired in me the will to keep going no matter what life throws at you. I don’t need a role because I have love, and that’s all I really need from this world.