Urban Mermaid

Urban Mermaid  by  Howard Parsons  description:

Can a mermaid find love and happiness working in the big city?
What will her parents say if she chooses a human for a mate?

Penelope Tench works in the city as the comptroller for a publishing house. She’s not happy living and working amongst humans but she has no choice as her home on Colony Island, FL holds nothing for her.

UrbanMermaid-coverBOOK 1: Urban Mermaid    1 STARS

This book had several points that showed it had potential and yet it was just boring, and at times actually made me angry. There was too much of Parson’s telling me what happened, instead of showing me. You rarely got full conversations, usually someone might say something and then the rest is summarized. You don’t really get any description of the places or the people, and you don’t get to share in the experiences because everything is just kind of told to you in an overall summary of their day. It made it hard to really connect with the characters or care about what happens to them. Even worse they really didn’t have individual personalities. It was just all mermaids keep stuff till it falls apart, and all mermaids are ignorant of human ways, and yet all put humans on a high pedestal to the point a mermaid will stick with a human even if they’re abusive. Why? There was nothing to set any of them apart which  makes them all forgettable. And it makes no sense, considering how much they do interact with humans, for them to seem so naive of their customs. Plus why would they have to learn about fishing and boating things if the original mermaids were sailors or sailor’s wives. Too much just didn’t make any sort of rational sense.

Plus that whole preposterous thing with Peter, where basically any chick he’s touched has apparently decided to then date trashy guys, or go from being a virgin to letting guys run a train on her, WTF?!?  Not to say it couldn’t happen, but the whole set up just didn’t line up. And neither did why Peter would suddenly gives up his whole warding off girls just to try and protect Penelope, who is completely mean to him for no real reason. Then his whole, I don’t know why I feel all funny inside when she blushes, surely I must need to go to a doctor junk really made me wonder if this is an actual adult book. This guy must be a reincarnation of Sheldon from the Big Bang Theory, because well those things are called emotions. Most adults know about them. Really the whole romantic side of this felt extremely juvenile and cheesy. Even their love scene ended up being creepy, I mean I don’t care what culture you’re from, your parents purposefully listening in isn’t right. This isn’t the middle ages any more. Honestly, this read like maybe Parsons doesn’t know girls that well, and probably shouldn’t be writing a book about one trying to find love.

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