A girl on my Facebook shared a video of some teenager saying her school slut shamed her and how she should be allowed to wear whatever she wanted. I didn’t watch the whole thing, and could care less what the girl was saying, because what bothered me was that my friend said the girl was dressing like a slut then she got whatever was coming to her. And I know most likely she meant whatever punishment the school saw fit, but it made me think of so many cases that have come out where a boy rapes a girl and doesn’t even know it’s rape because the girl pretty much looked like she was asking for it. Now I’m not asking for a society in which we don’t make snap judgments based on how people looked, because that would be impossible. It’s an instinct that’s built into us, it’s what helps us survive, when we see someone that sends up red flags then we know perhaps we should avoid them. Whether that person is actually a bad guy is something to be seen, but why take the chance? In some cases it’s just whether someone seems competent in a situation. A guy all tatted up working as a mechanic doesn’t even faze you, but a guy like that working as a banker may make you hesitate. You know it’s wrong, and yet it’s what society has taught us. My point in writing this isn’t to ask people to change their instincts, we’re only human after all, it’s to stop and ask yourselves just because I may not want to trust that tatted up guy with my money or just because that girl does dress like a slut should I necessarily treat them unkindly? Should I treat them like they’re less of a person? The answer is no.
I think a lot of the issues do begin with how schools treat the girls in them. Yes, I understand there being rules, but when you snatch a girl out of a classroom, keeping her from getting her education, because you say her attire is distracting the boys, then what are you really telling everyone? You’re telling them first off that boys don’t need to learn to control themselves. It’s not up to the boys to figure out that no matter how a girl looks it isn’t his right to do with her as he pleases. It’s not up to him to learn to ignore the girl, who may be revealing a little skin, in order to learn what he’s there to learn, and yes we are human, but are we not meant to learn to control ourselves? No, society puts the entire weight on the girl. The girl must dress in a way to conceal herself so that a boy doesn’t feel tempted, because if the boy feels tempted he’s not responsible for his own actions.
More so, you’re saying that girl’s education isn’t as important. Several instances happened where the girl was kept out of class. One little girl was even kept from calling her mom to ask for a change of clothes, even though at her young age it wasn’t really her fault what she might have been wearing. The parent would’ve had to consent and approve of the outfit, but the girl is punished. While there are rules, is it right to embarrass them in front of everyone, or even in private? Like the instance where the principle made a girl kneel before him to prove her dress was too short, even though it followed the rule of reaching her fingertips. So even when they follow the rules, it’s not good enough.
And who makes these decisions of what’s modest and what’s slutty? Half the everyday clothes that most people wear that people wouldn’t even think twice about are against the rules to wear in school. It’s a public school where the children have to go, they have no choice, and yet they get kicked out for wearing what’s in style and what they see everywhere they go. So at what point do we decide education is more important, or girls aren’t responsible for the actions of boys, at what point will we learn to just start treating people like human beings instead of things to be bossed around.
Sometimes it honestly feels like we’re not in the land of the free, we’re in the land of endless rules and judgments.