Why Can’t Boys Be Sweet?

I read a Twitter thread today talking about how a 4 year old boy wanted to have a butterfly painted on his face, but his parents flat out refused to allow such and instead forced him to get a skull and crossbones. You know, something manly. It just got me thinking how much easier it is to be a girl.

I’m not saying that women don’t deal with issues of inequality. There are still jobs it’s hard for women to get, pay disparities, and general sexist attitudes that still exist in the world. But sometimes it seems it’s easier for women to break into the man’s world and be hailed a revolutionary than it is for the reverse. While we’re so busy trying to show the world we can be just as strong, capable, and badass as men, we overlook the fact that men aren’t as easily allowed to be sweet, loving, and nurturing as women. For both men and women, acts of masculinity are much more easily accepted than those deemed more feminine. Even at times for a woman, we’re seen as weak for being girly, no wonder all the heroines today are more Black Widow than Cinderella. But that’s a discussion for another day.

Now I’ve served in the Air Force as a mechanic, and what do most people say to hearing that? “Thank you for serving.” I was a girl who did a manly job, no problem. After getting out and getting a degree, I had trouble finding a job, and when folks asked me what I did I just said stay-at-home. Some would ask if I had kids, and upon hearing that I didn’t seemed simply envious I got to be home while my husband brought home the bacon. But while men going into the military doesn’t even get a second thought, a guy staying at home instead of working would simply be seen as lazy, and a man who decides to stay at home to take care of the kids is seen as unmanly, and worse the number of people who are sure men can’t care for children as well as women. Of course, I’ve already talked about that in Can Only Mommies Mommy? In either situation no one seemed bothered by my life choice, but for men it’s a whole other ballgame, and I’ve seen it before plenty of times. And it’s not just men being tough on other men, it’s women with the same expectations of how men should act.

However, when it comes to kids sometimes it’s almost more obvious how we start at the beginning to force this confining issue on boys, and less so on girls. A little girl wants to play with GI Joe, well look at her not excepting those stereotypes placed on her by men. A little boy wants to play with Barbie, we need to stop that or he’s gonna turn out to be one of them gays.

I think back to myself growing up, I was the weird girl who’d wear pocket watches, ties, and suspenders. Not very stylishly I might add, I was dressing to be “cool” like my dad. I remember a guy commenting how nobody said anything about my clothes, but if he wore a kilt it’d be a scandal. People’s response, “well that’s RG, that’s just what she does.” Essentially I can be accepted for weird boyish behavior, but he couldn’t be accepted for anything remotely girly.

When I asked my dad about this he said, “You can’t stop someone from being who they are on the inside. You can only oppress them, and stop them from accepting who they are. You can stop them from being happy with themselves.” Essentially your kid is who they is, you’re either helping them love themselves or making them feel ashamed and resentful.

I think of my sweet little 3 year old nephew, who one minute is hugging an angel figurine claiming it’s a beautiful butterfly and it’s his favorite. The next he’s building a Lego tower claiming it’s a robot prison, which apparently also needed a hug. One act is a bit ‘girly’ and the other more acceptable of boys. And I’m so happy his parents are raising him to be sweet rather than tough, they want him to learn and discover all the wonders of the world, and not try to shut down this intelligent loving little boy. Kids are innocent beings who are just learning about life. Don’t stifle their love and joy with your fear that they’re not going to be “normal”, instead allow them to bloom knowing that you’re there for them no matter what.

Every little boy should be allowed to appreciate the beauty of the world as much as girls do. Boys should be allowed to try new things and learn new skills even if they’re not deemed manly. After all that definition changes one century to the next. There was a time when knitting was considered too complicated for women and was actually a man’s hobby. Just think about that.

O-Face COVER REVEAL!!!

O Face by Heather Hildenbrand

coming October 16th, 2017

 

I have a confession.
I’ve never had an orgasm.
Not for lack of trying. Hell, I even experimented once in college with a girlfriend, but nothing. Nada. Zilch.
I’m pretty sure I’m broken.
That is, until Liam Porter waltzes back into my life.

Cassie Franklin is untouchable. And she wears it well.

Heir to a fortune and heart of fucking stone—I’ve never, not once in the years I’ve known her—seen her smile.

Not that I’ve lost sleep over her while I’ve been rolling in the sheets with every other beautiful girl this town has to offer. Not to mention the women I had during my tour of duty. I’m not exactly pining. Still, Cassie’s always gotten under my skin—all that cool beauty set into a cold stare.

So when her best friend begs me to find out what Cassie’s hiding, I’m more than happy to comply. In fact, this is one covert takedown I’ll actually enjoy.

So why is it that the more I learn about the real Cassie Franklin, the more positive I am—there’s only one expression I want to see grace her features: Her O Face.

And I never back down from a challenge.

 

Pre-order exclusively on iBooks: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/id1233007167

O Face is part of the Meet Cute theme of books, a collection of contemporary romance novels by different authors with the same theme.

Boy meets girl. It’s the way romances usually begin . . . and while we all love a happy ending, it’s the #MeetCute that wins our hearts.

How did you two meet?

The #MeetCute Books each have a unique answer to that query. Some might make you swoon, others might make you giggle . . . and some may make you blush.

Twelve authors. Twelve stand-alone contemporary romance novels. Twelve stories that will make your heart beat a little faster.

Because it’s all about the #MeetCute.

Learn More about all the Meet Cute books here.

Heather Hildenbrand was born and raised in a small town in northern Virginia where she was homeschooled through high school. (She’s only slightly socially awkward as a result.) She writes paranormal and contemporary romance with plenty of abs and angst. Her most frequent hobbies are riding motorcycles and avoiding killer slugs.

You can find out more about Heather and her books at heatherhildenbrand.com.

Water Intoxication… It’s Real

In less than a month’s time I’ll be turning 29, so you may be surprised to hear last night was the first time I ever went bar hopping, but I doubt you’d be surprised to know I woke up this morning with a horrible hangover. The only problem is I didn’t drink a drop of alcohol. That’s right, I was pounding water all night. You see I don’t drink, which is probably why it’s taken this long for someone to invite me on such an excursion. And I’m not some kind of health nut, drinking water regularly is probably about the only healthy thing I do, and the only reason I was drinking it so much last night was because it was rather warm out and walking from one place to the next I was thirsty. Plus, water is free, and kind of helped balance out the tab my husband and friends were accruing. But looking back I realize I wasn’t just drinking water, I was drinking it like it was going out of style.

Starting at the restaurant at 6pm where I drank at least a pitcher if not more on my own, and then at each bar until well after midnight I was having one glass after the next, until finally I reached a point I couldn’t take another sip. So while my friends, who were enjoying Long Island Ice Teas, Crown and Coke, and some other combination of drinks I can’t even remember, were feeling giddy and laughing, I (the sober one) was feeling like I was about to pass out or throw up. I was the one dragging myself into bed feeling the pain, and while both me and hubs woke up to a couple of Excedrin’s, I was the one with stomach cramps, dry heaving, and a headache that made the slightest bit of light or movement a painful experience. He was up and perky, and I looked like the one who had one too many the night before.

The fact is, you can have too much of a good thing. We think of water and think that’s healthy, our body needs it, drinking water is easily the best thing you can do for yourself. But it also flushes your system, and can cause your sodium levels to drop. Yep, we need some salty goodness at times. Now, luckily, my case wasn’t too severe, though it honestly felt like it. There have been instances where people died from such, usually athletes who are trying to stay hydrated while they’re sweating it out. But it’s why drinks like Gatorade or Powerade may be a good thing to toss in every now and then to help replenish what water is washing away. Being the sober person is an important thing in a group, especially when your husband gets so bad he can’t remember the name of the hotel you’re staying at. So stay sober, but remember a nice glass of Sprite or Ginger Ale (my drinks of choice) can do the job just as easily as water.

Palm Beach Bones RELEASE BLITZ!!!

Detective Charlie Crawford is having a tough week. First, Palm Beach’s ex-police chief washes up dead on the beach behind The Breakers. Then Charlie’s friend’s niece is abducted without a trace. As if that wasn’t bad enough, his brother just checked himself into a clinic for depression and alcoholism.

The good news is Charlie’s love life has never been better…except with the woman he really loves.

 

 

 

 

Buy Links:

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Also Available Books 1-3 in the Charlie Crawford series, all books can be read as stand-alone

Palm Beach Nasty

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Palm Beach Poison

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Palm Beach Deadly

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Amazon UK http://amzn.to/2jCW3iq

 

About the Author

A native New Englander, Tom dropped out of college and ran a Vermont bar—straight into the ground. After limping back to college to get his diploma, Tom became an advertising copywriter, first in Boston then New York. After ten years of post-Mad Men life, he made a radical change and got a job in Manhattan commercial real estate. Not long after that he ended up in Palm Beach, buying, renovating and selling houses while collecting a lot of raw material for his novels. On the side, he wrote Palm Beach Nasty and a screenplay called Dead in the Water. While at a wedding a few years back, he fell for the charm of Charleston, South Carolina. He moved there and wrote Palm Beach Poison and a series set in Charleston. Recently, wandering Tom moved again. This time, just down the road to Skidaway Island, outside of Savannah, where he just completed Palm Beach Deadly.

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Memorial Day

Over the last few days I’ve seen posted on social media people feeling the need to point out that Memorial Day is the day to remember those in the Armed Forces who have fallen in combat. And it’s not just that they want you to remember that it’s for the fallen, but to point out that it’s not about those that are still alive. I even read another blog written by a service member who talked about how they hate it when people try to thank them for serving their country on Memorial Day or Armed Forces Day or any day other than Veteran’s Day, because as a veteran that’s the only time someone should thank them, and so that’s when they acknowledge such sentiment. First off, that sounds extremely rude and a poor reflection on military members when someone gets thanked and they ignore it except for one day a year. However, I don’t at all understand the concept that we should leave out anyone who is or has served their country on this day, even though it is set aside specifically for those no longer among us.

Today we should remember that our freedom has been protected by so many lives laid down in service to this country. There have been many wars fought, and even now there are troops out there trying to stop anyone who wishes to harm America. Men and women have died while we sit at home enjoying those freedoms that they gave up. Because when you serve in the military you do give up a lot of freedoms. You don’t get to choose where you live. You don’t get to say and do as you wish even off duty because you’re always on duty and you’re always representing the military. You don’t even get to choose what you do with your hair, nails, even piercings and body art all have regulations on them. And you definitely don’t get to up and quit because you decide you don’t want to be there anymore. You give up a lot, and all the while knowing that you could be put in the position to make the ultimate sacrifice. I think that’s something that should be recognized every day of the year.

Because for those who are serving, they may not get out of that service alive, and shouldn’t we thank them when we have the chance, and not way until the next Memorial Day. And for the Veterans, they may have survived, but there’s a chance they may have lost someone, and when you thank them they can accept it for their fallen brethren. I remember my dad talking about seeing his uncle tear up when talking about losing his friend in WWII. Not only did he die right in front of him, but my great uncle had to leave him behind and keep going in order to complete his mission. I believe on Memorial Day thanking him would let him know that people appreciated the sacrifice his friend made. So while we honor the dead, let us not forget the living.

Questions I have for Adventure Time

Since Adventure Time is to end in season 9, there are some questions that I’m hoping will be answered. Since we’re only half way through season 8 at the moment there’s a chance some of these are to be answered soon, but if not hopefully they won’t leave anything hanging since they know so early on that they’re finishing. Here are some of my questions, honestly there are more that I have, and more will probably continue to pop up, but these are the main ones for me at the moment.

  1. What is the deal with Gunter’s baby cat? It clearly has powers since it floats and shoots lasers, and since Gunter is technically Orgalorg does that mean the cat is some kind of god-like creature as well?
  2. Why were the Martians fated to meet Jake? They just said that it was foretold, and yet he doesn’t do anything for them. Finn has more influence over events in their life than Jake does, so just why?
  3. What exactly was the Peeper who created Jake? Does it have anything do with Orgalorg considering the similar appearance between the 2?
  4. What exactly is the second coming of GOLB and does Finn have anything to do with him due to the fact of him bouncing off GOLB when leaving Pillow World?
  5. Was Pillow World real then?
  6. Why did GOLB take Margles and will he bring her back?
  7. Will Peace Master ever save his 2 children who have been cursed, and finish seeking revenge on Peppermint Butler?
  8. Why does Peace Master hate Peppermint Butler, considering nobody else knows he’s evil, and even those who know he’s the Dark One don’t seem to mind?
  9. What’s going on with Ancient Psychic Tandem War Elephant and Maja?
  10. What happened to the people from the Mountain of Matthew, and what does its’ destruction mean for his supposed need to restore the world in the future?

Beauty and the Beast vs. Stockholm Syndrome and Abusive Relationships

I love Beauty and the Beast. I have since I was little and saw the cartoon version, and I love the live version even more. Perhaps it’s the book nerd in me falling for a guy who gifts a girl a huge library, but there’s always been something about it that I absolutely loved. However, now are the days of questioning every story and trying to find the evil within. Is this the tale of Stockholm syndrome or an abusive relationship that’s going to lead girls to believe they can change their abusive boyfriends/husbands if only they love them enough. I find both ideas utterly ridiculous. Maybe I’m blinded by my love of the tale, but I’m at least going to back up my reasons for why.

First off, it couldn’t possibly be Stockholm syndrome. Stockholm syndrome is described as “positive feelings toward their captors and sympathy for their causes and goals, and negative feelings toward the police or authorities. These feelings, resulting from a bond formed between captor and captives during intimate time spent together, are generally considered irrational in light of the danger or risk endured by the victims. Generally speaking, Stockholm syndrome consists of strong emotional ties that develop between two persons where one person intermittently harasses, beats, threatens, abuses, or intimidates the other.” I stole this from Wikipedia but I’m sure you can find this sort of info from a more reputable site if you’d like.

However, looking at this it doesn’t follow with what happens. First off, Belle chose to stay with the Beast so she wasn’t really taken hostage then. Sure she is being held captive, but it’s not like he went and kidnapped her. During that time the Beast and her barely spend any time together, and when he does act angrily and throws a tantrum, she stands up to him. She doesn’t back down, and while she doesn’t leave, she does move about doing whatever she wants. He yells a lot but all his threats are empty considering she doesn’t stay locked away and she does eat well. And she actually does try to escape, during which the Beast saves her life and when it’s clear she could make a run for it, she once more chooses to stay in order to find out what the curse is all about and to try to help the servants more than she is trying to help the Beast. More so, when the Beast gives Belle the opportunity to leave she does so. She doesn’t wish to remain there, and she doesn’t turn on the townspeople thinking they’re the bad guys. Besides she doesn’t even have rescuers of any sort to think badly of. The townspeople instead ignore her father’s plight and try to have him locked away instead of ever really asking what happened to Belle, and only go to the castle to murder the Beast, because even though they never knew he existed and he’s given them no trouble they’re suddenly afraid of him and decide to hunt him down and kill him in the castle he’s locked himself away in. So not much of her turning on any sort of rescuer, as it is trying to stop them from hurting people who are under a curse. In the end the only reason she shows any softening towards him, is because he finally stops acting so cruel and begins to try and be a decent human being. She also doesn’t fall in love with him until after he’s given her her freedom. In fact if he hadn’t been attacked it’s questionable if she would’ve returned or declared her feelings in time to even save him.

Now, much of this also answers why it’s not about an abusive relationship. Firstly, if you’re building your relationship ideals off Disney then you clearly don’t have any good ones to look upon in real life. Instead of blaming TV maybe we should question why they don’t have people in real life to look up to. Regardless, this isn’t the tale of someone who thinks they can save this cruel man if they just love him enough. Instead, she stands up to him repeatedly showing she isn’t going to bow to his will to just because he yells and demands it of her. While he does tear up a lot of stuff, the Beast never harms Belle or his servants. He clearly isn’t someone who they even fear because they disobey him readily. Showing he’s more bark than bite. Yet, the main thing to note is that it isn’t until he acts better, and shows that he cares, and that he’s trying to be a better man that she actually begins to love him. She isn’t loving him to make him better, she loves him as he becomes better. Once more, only upon him undoing all the wrongs he’d committed against her does she love him. Once he frees her to help save her father, who is only in trouble because of the Beast, and gives up his chance of breaking the curse does she finally let herself fall in love with him. Only once he’s completely turned from all the things that led him to becoming the Beast does Belle actually see him as someone worthy of her love. That is not the description of an abusive relationship. Belle wasn’t trying to save him, instead the Beast was working to become worthy of Belle.

Why VA Insurance is a Joke

As you can probably surmise from the title, I’m not a fan of VA insurance. See, me and my husband are both partially disabled veterans, and so we get 100% coverage with VA insurance. That’s right. I get insurance for free, that allows me to go to the doctor for free as much as I want, and yet we choose to pay for insurance that has a nice little deductible just so we can get actual help.

Where I live I don’t have a full VA hospital, just a clinic, which is bad enough on it’s own, but wouldn’t be too bad for the average trip to the doctor. Except like when they don’t ever answer the phone. The first month of me being on VA insurance I called and called and called, and no matter what extension you choose, or how long you let it ring, nobody would pick up. Finally went in in person to get an appointment. After which I did get a call for some survey from VA asking about my visit, once I complained they actually finally started answering phones for a while. But even when you finally do get an appointment it’s definitely no picnic in getting any actual help. First off, they may just cancel your appointment for apparently no reason and not let you know about it. Or the earliest appointment may be 3 months away regardless of how bad off you are.

Then there are things like how I’m no longer on birth control, because my doctor wouldn’t put a prescription in. Right off the bat he told me he didn’t think I could get that, which was strange because the military never had problems getting it for me, and my last VA hospital got it for me, but he couldn’t. And I will say my last VA hospital wasn’t too bad. I’m saying this because I don’t want to claim that all are bad, just like not all of the doctors are bad. But the problem when you have no choice in where you get to go, you’re stuck with whatever crap they give you. Not only didn’t I get birth control, but it was extremely hard for them to even find a lady doctor who could see me for my lady stuff, because there was no way I was letting the sleazy primary care I got stuck with check me out. But even the lady doctor with her repeated confusion over the fact that I had never been pregnant nor had kids, and yes she asked it in about 5 different ways before she finally believed me, was of little help.

But the worst is now. My depression and anxiety have gotten to the point I need help, but no one answers their phone. There’s not even an answer machine to pick up to answer. I actually called the nearest full hospital and nobody was sure who was in and supposedly left a message that they were supposed to call me back to help me, but nobody did. Nobody will call back. Nobody gives a shit if I kill myself or not, because why should they? I’m just a veteran seeking help, and my VA insurance that should give me access to such does nothing, because the option I’m given is a hospital who won’t answer their phone, and doctors and nurses who won’t help you get what meds you need, or information that could help you. So instead I use the insurance I pay for to finally seek real help. And sure it’s no big deal to pay for insurance, just like so many other Americans do. My problem is when the government claims that they’ll take care of veterans, and basically put up some little facade like these hospitals to try and prove that they do, when in reality their help is really no help at all.

Too Complicated COVER REVEAL!!!

Too Complicated by Bethany Lopez

(Lewis Cousins, #2)
Contemporary Romance – Coming April 24

Cover by Makeready Designs
Photograph by Lindee Robinson Photography
Cover Model: Garrett Pentecost

Reardon Lewis is a small-town lawyer in Cherry Springs, the place where he and his cousins grew up. With the body of a Viking and the heart of a geek, Reardon is loyal to his family and indispensable to his community. The only thing missing in his life is love, and it just so happens that the one woman he has always wanted but could never have has just moved to Cherry Springs.

Chloe Zahn is a successful businesswoman, a city girl, and a single mom. The last thing she ever planned to do was move to a small town, but that’s the choice she’s made to bring her son closer to his dad. The only problem? The Lewis family and the obvious disdain they have for her.

The more time Reardon and Chloe spend together, the harder it is to fight their growing feelings for each other. Things between them have always been Too Complicated, but Reardon knows this may be his last chance to win over the woman he’s always dreamed of, complications be damned.

Too Complicated is the second in an all-new small-town romance series by Bethany Lopez. Follow the Lewis cousins as they learn about love and loss in Cherry Springs, the kind of place where there are festivals for every occasion and everyone knows your business.

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Special Pre-order Price is $2.99

Amazon | iBooks | Kobo | Nook | Smashwords

complicated

EXCERPT:
Crazy tall, with blond, perfectly styled hair and bright-blue eyes, Reardon Lewis was not a hard man to look at. In fact, sometimes I would catch sight of him and my body would react in a completely unexpected way.
Kind of like it is now…
I was aware of the heat coming off his body, his shoulders so large that they were barely a centimeter away from mine, as he slouched into the seat, probably trying to reach some level of comfort. His hands were palm down on his thighs, and were so very large that just looking at them seemed to cause something inside of me to start twitching.
Then there was his smell.
Good Lord on earth, it was heavenly.
I’d caught a whiff every now and then, but at this proximity the bright, clean smell of him seemed to wrap around me in a warm hug.
“Chloe?” he asked, and I snapped out of my scent-induced stupor, and realized he’d asked me something.
“I’m sorry, what?” I asked, hoping he didn’t suspect that I was having a physical reaction to his presence. I clenched my thighs together and started counting to twenty, hoping to make the tingle go away.
“I asked if this is the first time you’re seeing it.”
“Seeing what?” I asked dumbly.
“Star Wars,” he replied with a chuckle, then narrowed his eyes at me. “Are you okay?”

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PURCHASE BOOK 1 IN THE SERIES

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TOO TEMPTING (Available now!)

Amazon Kindle Unlimited!

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AUTHOR INFORMATION:

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Award-Winning Author Bethany Lopez began self-publishing in June 2011. She’s a lover of all things romance: books, movies, music, and life, and she incorporates that into the books she writes. When she isn’t reading or writing, she loves spending time with her husband and children, traveling whenever possible. Some of her favorite things are: Kristen Ashley Books, coffee in the morning, and In N Out burgers.

AUTHOR LINKS:

Website | Twitter | Facebook | Goodreads | Pinterest | Amazon

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Remembrance: A Heart Lines Novel GIVEAWAY!!!

heart-lines-remembrance-ebook

 

Remembrance is now available and I’m so excited to bring you this story!

This is a spin-off of my Dirty Blood series and while it’s more fun to come in already knowing a bit about these characters, you do NOT have to read Dirty Blood first. You can just jump in here!

About Remembrance:

heart-lines-remembrance-hhildenbrand_v25

She’s the cure that could save him. If only she could remember how.

Two years ago, 20 year-old Samantha Knight experienced a life-altering trauma. Unfortunately, she can’t remember what it was. Previously outgoing, fun, and carefree—it’s as if someone flipped a switch on Sam’s insides. Now, she’s afraid of everything, socially awkward, and convinced she’s going crazy. As Beyoncé would say, she woke up like this. Sam tries her best to juggle college classes, work, and the nosiest roommate ever, but behind the curtain, Sam’s life is all about keeping a firm grip on her own mind. And life is kicking her ass.

Alex Channing has only one enemy in this world: werewolves. Born and raised to fight in the supernatural military, he has become an expert at hunting and killing rabid werewolves. But when Alex is bitten and infected, he finds himself racing against a ticking clock for his own survival.

Alex’s search for a cure leads him finally to an oracle in a seaside town in California. And she gives him the reading of a lifetime. The key to his cure is a girl who forgets things, cries spontaneously, and might just be insane. And the only way she can save him is to do the one thing Alex knows is impossible: she has to remember.

Book 1 in the highly anticipated Heart Lines series, a spin-off of the bestselling and award-winning Dirty Blood series. Note: you do NOT have to read Dirty Blood first. You can start here!

“If you enjoyed the Dirty Blood series, Remembrance is a must-read!”

Available NOW! FREE for Kindle Unlimited!

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Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01MZGCPMR

Enter to win!

I’m giving away some goodies to help celebrate! (There will be more giveaways in the FB group so make sure to find us there too.)

remembrance-release-giveaway

GRAND PRIZE: custom bracelet + signed swag + e-ARC of Inheritance (book 2 in the Heart Lines Series) By Heather Hildenbrand

2nd PRIZE: e-ARC of Inheritance (book 2 in the Heart Lines Series) By Heather Hildenbrand

Ends 3/5/17 ~ Open International.

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Can’t wait to hear what you think of this story! Happy Reading!